Super Absorbant Wolvie?
by PearlyJammer
Summary: How far will Logan go to feel Marie's pain? NOT as SERIOUS as it sounds! Tis a silly fic


Title:  Super Absorbent Wolvie?  

Author:  Autumn  

E-mail: dylesic_crisco_penguin_fiend@hotmail.com 

Summary:  How far will Logan go to understand Marie's pain?  NOTE:  Not nearly as serious as it sounds.  Tis a sillyfic. 

Category: Silly fic 

A/N:  Inspired by……I really, really can't tell you.  I'd be in trouble;  ) 

Logan POV 

Archive:  DDFH, BPQ, others ask please.  

Feedback:  Absolutely:  Good, Gooder, Goodest and the baddest ever………………………..

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I gotta say that women are the stronger sex.  If  anyone says otherwise, they're probably a man and they're lying through their teeth.  Women are incredible creatures.  They put up with men, they endure pregnancy and childbirth.  And worst of all they have the periods.  The headaches, the cramps, and the god awful maxi pads.  

If you tell anybody about this, I will cut your legs off slowly, scoop your eyeballs out with a spoon and rip your tongue out with some scissors, dull scissors.  Get it?  It was Marie's fault really, all of it.  She's the one who made me feel sorry for her with all the woman's business stuff.  All that talk of cramps and how she wasn't in the mood cause of PMS and yadda, yadda, yadda.   

That might frustrate some men but I love my wife.  More than anything, and I don't like that she's hurting at all.  Biological or not.  I try my best to comfort her and baby her, but sometimes it doesn't seem like enough.  So I tried a new strategy.  

I decided to get into Marie's shoes.  To ya know, get the full effect of what it felt like to have a um, visit from ya know, the period fairy or whatever the hell you wanna call it.  So I did what any loving husband should do.  Try to understand the source of the pain; it's a simple battle strategy.  So don't gimme that look bub.    

I began researching, a lot.  Finding out exactly what caused the kind of pain in the abdomen that Marie described.  I tried everything.  Mixing bad Mexican food with warm milk, drinking ice-cold water after workout sessions.  Nothing came close to what she said. I got frustrated; I mean how hard can it be to induce cramps for Christ's sake?  I finally had a breakthrough by eating something Jeanie is so damn fond of.  Protein shakes.  Raw egg, milk, cheese and meat.  It's disgusting and gave me the worst stomach cramps I have ever experience.  

I had one part of my experiment down.  Headaches are easy enough to induce.  In a sadistic move I decided to seek out Jubille to talk to.  Ask her a question and she'll go on for hours.  Luckily for me, Jubes came through and I had a pounding headache.  Whipping up one of Jean's gag-me drinks would be easy enough; it was the third part I didn't want to face much.  

Marie and I are open about pretty much everything and odd as it sounds, I was curious about her monthly deal.  I will never have one, thankfully to whatever's out there.  But she does, and I like to know what's going on with her. Besides it's a normal fuckin' process, why do some people find that so damn gross?  Besides, it's just blood.  Anyway getting back to the point.  I once asked her why she considered pads to be the 'evil that must not be spoken.'  So, she tried to explain it too me.  Basically it sounds like a dipper, babies don't seem to mind them.  She got really pissed when I said that.  

So, to see what the big deal was, I decided to see for myself.  I got myself the headache, drank the cramp juice, and against my manly judgment, I put one of those 'super dippers' in my underwear, poured warm water in it and zipped up my pants.  I lasted for maybe 30 seconds.  How the fuck do women do it?  

I learned a lot from that experiment.  Marie says she doesn't feel good; I will try everything in my power to help her.  Headache, a terrible case of cramps and feeling wet down there is saying too much.  Only way I can think of too get rid of that is to get Marie pregnant.  Hmmmm, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.  Wonder what Marie thinks about that.  She won't have to face pads for nine months.  That's reason enough right?  

The more I think about it, the more I think this is a good idea.  Now I just gotta argue my case……….  


End file.
